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The story of how I reverted to al Islam is a story of plans. I made plans,
the group I was with made plans, and Allah made plans. And Allah is the Best
of Planners. When I was a teenager, I came to the attention of a group of
people with a very sinister agenda. They were and probably still are a loose
association of individuals who work in government positions but have a special
agenda - to destroy Islam. It is not a governmental group that I am aware
of, they simply use their positions in the US government to advance their
cause.
One member of this group approached me because he saw that I was articulate,
motivated and very much the women's rights advocate. He told me that if I
studied International Relations with an emphasis in the Middle East, he would
guarantee me a job at the American Embassy in Egypt. He wanted me to eventually
go there to use my position in the country to talk to Muslim women and encourage
the fledgling women's rights movement. I thought this was a great idea. I
had seen the Muslim women on TV; I knew they were a poor oppressed group,
and I wanted to lead them to the light of 20th century freedom.
With this intention, I went to college and began my education. I studied Quraan,
hadith and Islamic history. I also studied the ways I could use this information.
I learned how to twist the words to say what I wanted them to say. It was
a valuable tool. Once I started learning, however, I began to be intrigued
by this message. It made sense. That was very scary. Therefore, in order to
counteract this effect, I began to take classes in Christianity. I chose to
take classes with this one professor on campus because he had a good reputation
and he had a Ph.D. in Theology from Harvard University. I felt I was in good
hands. I was, but not for the reasons I thought. It turns out that this professor
was a Unitarian Christian. He did not believe in the trinity or the divinity
of Jesus. In actuality, he believed that Jesus was a prophet.
He proceeded to prove this by taking the Bible from its sources in Greek,
Hebrew and Aramaic and show where they were changed. As he did this, he showed
the historical events which shaped and followed these changes. By the time
I finished this class, my deen had been destroyed, but I was still not ready
to accept Islam. As time went on, I continued to study, for myself and for
my future career. This took about three years. In this time, I would question
Muslims about their beliefs. One of the individuals I questioned was a Muslim
brother with the MSA. Alhamdulillah, he saw my interest in the deen, and made
it a personal effort to educate me about Islam. May Allah increase his reward.
He would give me dawaa at every opportunity which presented itself.
One day, this man contacts me, and he tells me about a group of Muslims who
were visiting in town. He wanted me to meet them. I agreed. I went to meet
with them after ishaa prayer. I was led to a room with at least 20 men in
it. They all made space for me to sit, and I was placed face to face with
an elderly Pakistani gentleman. Mashallah, this brother was a very knowledgeable
man in matters of Christianity. He and I discussed and argued the varying
parts of the bible and the Quraan until the fajr. At this point, after having
listened to this wise man tell me what I already knew, based on the class
I had taken in Christianity, he did what no other individual had ever done.
He invited me to become a Muslim. In the three years I had been searching
and researching, no one had ever invited me. I had been taught, argued with
and even insulted, but never invited. May Allah guide us all. So when he invited
me, it clicked. I realized this was the time. I knew it was the truth, and
I had to make a decision. Alhamdulillah, Allah opened my heart, and I said,
"Yes. I want to be a Muslim." With that, the man led me in the shahadah
- in English and in Arabic. I swear by Allah that when I took the shahadah,
I felt the strangest sensation. I felt as if a huge, physical weight had just
been lifted off my chest; I gasped for breath as if I were breathing for the
first time in my life. Alhamdulillah, Allah had given me a new life - a clean
slate - a chance for Jennah, and I pray that I live the rest of my days and
die as a Muslim. Ameen.
Shariffa A Carlo (Al Andalusia)
For more in depth information, please click on the following links.
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